I’ll say it right up front—I love pink plastic flamingos.
So do a lot of people here in the South. A few put them right in front of their houses for all the world to see, not giving a fig what said world thinks. Me, I hide mine in back amongst shrubs, flowers, and weeds. Yes, I’m a closet pink flamingo lover.
Why is it tacky to display the exotic birds? One can fill the yard with gnomes, fairies, frogs, and whatnots, but put a single pink flamingo out there, and one is labeled white trash, trailer trash (no matter that one’s house is brick), or plain old garden variety trash, all of whom are known for their cheapness and bad taste. I’ve read that some homeowners associations slap fines on owners for displaying the flamingoes because they believe the birds lower real estate values. Better tell that to Madison, Wisconsin. In 2009 they made the pink plastic flamingo their official bird.
One can buy tee shirts, plates, glasses, towels, shower curtains, and a plethora of other items sporting a pink flamingo, and proudly display them; but woe to her that plants that plastic bird on the lawn.
That’s why I keep mine in back. I’m not brave; I hate ridicule.
I wonder if there are others out there who nurture the plastic birds in secret. There must be. When I bought my pair on Amazon a few years ago, there were a gazillion reviews from verified purchasers. Of course, none listed their last name. Cowards, like me. I imagine they received their pink flamingos in unmarked boxes and waited until the dead of night before taking them to the backyard and displaying in a secluded area not visible from the street. Probably erected privacy fences to further shield the birds from curious eyes.
From my kitchen window, I can see the pretty flamingos. On warm days I can sit on the patio and admire their gaudy beauty. During winter, they’re the only colorful things in an otherwise bleak landscape. They make me smile.
Call them tacky if you will; I call my flamingos beautiful.
But they’re still not coming out of the closet.
©️2019 KT Workman